40 weeks

Dear Baby,
Tomorrow marks 40 weeks of pregnancy.  What a ride!  The past few weeks I have been nothing short of a basketcase. I have carried so much anxiety around....

How would I be mommy to 2 kids?!

Where will the money come from for child care?!

How the #*^% am I going to have a baby without medications?!

When will you come and will you interrupt your brother's performance in the 'Three Piggy Opera'?!

It's amazing what self talk can do.  I was overwhelmed with peace today, suddenly having more confidence in myself, you, our family, and the unknown.

Here's what I've come to.

Mother of two. 
I just know that this will work.  I know that there will be moments I will feel overwhelmed and under prepared.  I have a great partner and you have a great dad.  He can't wait for Cole to "need" him more.  And he can't wait to meet you. I know that "love will multiply, not divide" - this seems impossible to imagine, but I know it's true.

Money.
It all works out.  We've crunched numbers and we can make it work.  It will take some sacrifice, probably all of which will make us better (no netflix, less or no cable, downgraded internet, etc).

Childbirth.
It's natural.  Baby, you and me - we were both made for this.  I am at peace knowing that we both naturally, innately know how to do this.  I can't wait to meet you, hold you, name you.  My mantra for any meditations I have been practicing has been "my body was made for this."  I know that we will work together for a wonderful experience.

the 'Three Piggy Opera'
I hope that I can be there.  But, as your dad reminded me - you are more important to Cole for the duration of his life that me being at his play.  (secretly I think we're in the clear - only 24 hours until the play!  that helps me feel pretty good about this one.)

So, I am telling myself to calm down. 
Enjoy this time. 
Soak up your big brother. 
Get a kick out of your kicks - I think they are so cute. 
Imagine you. 
Dream of our lives together; your daddy, me, your big brother, and you. 

I feel so close to you already but I know that you are about to take me by surprise with love and emotion.  So, come when you're ready, baby.  You have missed several days when other people wanted you to be born.  I hope that this means that you are confident in yourself - and ready to be your own person.  Be who you are.  I can't wait to find out all about you!  See you soon.

Love,
Mama

Bathtime Sillies

Spring!

Within the last 24 hours our temperature has dropped 30 degrees.  Prior to the bottom falling out of spring, we got out and enjoyed it!  Derek did his thang in the yard, patching spots on the lawn ruined by dog-potty-breaks through the winter, and cutting in some beds with mulch through the yard.  His work looks amazing!  I can't wait until the weather is reliable enough for us to put some plants in the new beds!

Cole and I did our thang riding Hot Wheels, walking, and running around the yard/neighborhood.  Okay, so he did all of the riding, walking, and running.  I waddled.

Okay, come back now Spring.  We miss you already!

Reason #4972 I Love D.

He's nesting.

As I sit here and blog with my feet propped, he is sanitizing shampooing the carpet through the entire house.

He's the best!

Near the end....

Dear Baby,

Your room is ready.

I have done all four (totally uncomfortable) ice exercises to prepare myself for the pain of labor.

Our bags are packed.

Plans are made for Cole and dogs to be cared for.

You hurt in my body - you are outgrowing me.
However, I am trying to remember that these may be the last days in my life when I get to carry a baby inside of me.  I love feeling you move through the day and wearing my belly with pride.

We passed 37 weeks gestation - all of the books say that you are fully developed.

I got my toes did.

Daddy has the yard and house looking great.

Your carseat is wating.

Your big brother is waiting.

We are all waiting.  

See you soon.

Love,

Mama

You, Me, & Big Brother at 38 weeks, 4 days.

Update:
The carpets have been shampoo-ed - - - again.
And the dogs got baths.
This house is SO ready for you!

Update on the Update:
I have "re-did" my toes twice.
The house is clean.  I am having a hard time keeping it this way!
Your brother and I are adjusting to our new schedule and soaking up our last days alone.  Having fun AND ready for your company!
My legs are shaved.
I've walked, bounced on the exercise ball, eaten spicy foods, AND determined that you are stubborn!  ;-)

dog show dudes

I think these two are super cute.

We got to visit with our friend, Beth, at a dog show she and her pooches were competing in. (I somehow managed to not take any photos of Beth or any dogs...?)  It was a nice morning out and great to see Beth.  In the downtime, we entertained Cole with funny Kramer hair-do's, Leapster games, and iPhone entertainers. 

Such a goof!

Old Is New

Opa pulled out one of Daddy's old toys for Cole's enjoyment.  Derek remembered it fondly and Cole loved it!

The Big Brother

Cole's days a our only child are numbered (16ish days).  I can't imagine sharing the love I have for him but I hear that there is no worry - I'll just grow more love.  Which, I imagine is true because it's exactly what happened with Cole.  For the past three years I have known overwhelming love, pride, and joy - all wrapped up in one handsome young boy.  Here's what he's up to these days.

- He eats salad.  He tried it for the first time last week and we've gone through tons of ranch dressing and a few heads of lettuce since!  Before he tried it he always told me that he would like salad when he got big.  The implication here makes me weepy.

- He no longer wakes up AS predictably.  We've started letting him *stay up late* on weekends and he then sleeps in a bit on the weekends....sometimes it's still 5:30, sometimes 7:30!  He goes to bed easily (for the most part).

- He went on a field trip to the Magic House last week with his school.  I wasn't able to go (because a: work and b: limited mobility!). Cole was able to tell me all about it in a way that I could picture his day! 

- He put on a t-shirt last week and asked where it came from.  I told him that Oma had given it to him.  He asked if Oma got it for him in Heaven? 

- We read "The Kissing Hand" often.  Cole believes in the kissing hand.  We exchange smooches on the hand at bedtime and drop off for school.  He holds his palms closed to protect Mommy & Daddy's kisses as long as he remembers (usually a lot longer than Mommy remembers to protect her kissing hand!).

- He has started copying me in saying "How did you get to be so cute?!"  He asks me this....I melt and tell him just because I am his Mommy.

- He requests to listen to his music on my ipod.  He has a playlist consisting of some SpongeBob, Yo Gabba Gabba, Trout Fishing in America, and Bob Marley.   He loves to sing along with TFIA - the Window. 

- Tonight when we said our prayers he reminded me to pray for Japan.  He told me that the earth wiggled there and people's houses broke.  I had talked to him about this a few days ago but I was brought to tears by how much his little heart and mind soaked this up.

- Parent-Teacher Conferences this afternoon:  Cole is young for the class he is in now and we will send him to preschool for three years to give him a good foundation for his education.  My heart swelled when his teacher talked about his good hugs and sweet nature.

I am so proud of this boy and I cannot wait to see him become a big brother.  I can't imagine growing more love since at least weekly I can feel my chest puff up and eyes tear up with pride and love.  My chest might explode with two kids to adore!

Sushi Sister Visit

Jayjay made a quick visit home for Mardi Gras. Since D and I feel we've outgrown Mardi Gras (for this year anyway!) we all met for family sushi night to get some Jayjay time in.

Service was 'leisurely' at the little restaurant.  This gave us plenty of time to visit.

Have Saki.

Play "light sabers" with chop sticks.

And practice our stick skills.

Can't forget the sushi!  It was worth the wait for the sushi fans in the house!  Here's a little guy that WAS a caterpillar before we attacked him! 

Countdown

A few weeks ago Cole and I made a paper chain to visualize how long it would be before the baby comes...after he has said repeatedly, "this baby is taking fooooreverrrrr!"  

Our chain is much shorter now....down to 23 links!!!

Home Made Play Dough

Cole's time as an only child is drawing to a close.  I am trying to soak up these last days as a family of three and focus on him.  Today I pulled out a few old tricks...from one of the VERY few things that I have saved from high school, a folder from my Parenting/Child Development class.  (Thank you Mrs. Carnahan!)  We decided to make some home made play dough.

Here's the recipe:
1 cup flour
1/2 cup salt
3 tablespoons oil
Kool-Aid (we just used food coloring, but Kool-Aid would smell yummy!)
1 cup boiling water
Mix all together until smoothe (and cool) and enjoy!

The recipe came out wonderfully!  The home made version smells much better than the store-bought version of "doh" and the oil actually made my hands feel nice when we played with it!
Note: if you chose to play with play dough, make sure NONE gets dropped or that your dogs are not around to eat the dropped bits...Pretty aqua play dough makes for ugly dog puke stains in the carpet.

Other (unphotographed) fun highlights of this Sunday included a visit with Opa, playing with vinegar and baking soda to make "magic tricks," and Cole learning to play Uno!