7 years-my tribute to us!

We celebrated 7 years a few months ago (Okay, so half a year....whatever).  Here's my "gift" to Derek.

7 Years of Us.

Here lately....

...I can't get enough of this kid...

...his wild hair.

...his sweet, sensitive, emotional tenderness.

...him telling his sister, "It's okay, sweetie.  We're almost there," when she grows impatient in the car.

...his love of books all things calm.

...his love of all things wild, loud, and boy!

...his smarts - totally amazes me.  He is coming so far with letter and number recognition.  And, his ability to tell us about his day, interactions, dreams, shows, etc.

...his love for his family.  He could have been jealous of his sister, but he has completely embraced her.  It helps that all of my attention that Max takes from him, his daddy gives him.  He tells us "I love you," at least once a day unprompted.  

...his ability to help out as a member of the household.  He cleaned his room by himself without me asking.

...pretty much everything.  

I love you crazy bad, Cole.  You made me a mom.  I might not be the best at it....but I wouldn't give up being your mom for anything in the world.

What I Love About Cole (today)

there are countless reasons why i love this child. here are some of today's biggies:

his sensitivity,

 that he lives inside of his imagination,

 that he loves to entertain his sister,

 and his funny, silly, animated personality

i am so incredibly lucky to get to be his mom.

My Baby Dad...

As Mother's Day approaches, I can't help but think about how important Derek's role is in my mothering.  I can't imagine parenting my children without him. 

He's the yin to my yang and a punching bag/trampoline/playmate for our children (human and canine)!

Reason #4972 I Love D.

He's nesting.

As I sit here and blog with my feet propped, he is sanitizing shampooing the carpet through the entire house.

He's the best!

Near the end....

Dear Baby,

Your room is ready.

I have done all four (totally uncomfortable) ice exercises to prepare myself for the pain of labor.

Our bags are packed.

Plans are made for Cole and dogs to be cared for.

You hurt in my body - you are outgrowing me.
However, I am trying to remember that these may be the last days in my life when I get to carry a baby inside of me.  I love feeling you move through the day and wearing my belly with pride.

We passed 37 weeks gestation - all of the books say that you are fully developed.

I got my toes did.

Daddy has the yard and house looking great.

Your carseat is wating.

Your big brother is waiting.

We are all waiting.  

See you soon.

Love,

Mama

You, Me, & Big Brother at 38 weeks, 4 days.

Update:
The carpets have been shampoo-ed - - - again.
And the dogs got baths.
This house is SO ready for you!

Update on the Update:
I have "re-did" my toes twice.
The house is clean.  I am having a hard time keeping it this way!
Your brother and I are adjusting to our new schedule and soaking up our last days alone.  Having fun AND ready for your company!
My legs are shaved.
I've walked, bounced on the exercise ball, eaten spicy foods, AND determined that you are stubborn!  ;-)

The Big Brother

Cole's days a our only child are numbered (16ish days).  I can't imagine sharing the love I have for him but I hear that there is no worry - I'll just grow more love.  Which, I imagine is true because it's exactly what happened with Cole.  For the past three years I have known overwhelming love, pride, and joy - all wrapped up in one handsome young boy.  Here's what he's up to these days.

- He eats salad.  He tried it for the first time last week and we've gone through tons of ranch dressing and a few heads of lettuce since!  Before he tried it he always told me that he would like salad when he got big.  The implication here makes me weepy.

- He no longer wakes up AS predictably.  We've started letting him *stay up late* on weekends and he then sleeps in a bit on the weekends....sometimes it's still 5:30, sometimes 7:30!  He goes to bed easily (for the most part).

- He went on a field trip to the Magic House last week with his school.  I wasn't able to go (because a: work and b: limited mobility!). Cole was able to tell me all about it in a way that I could picture his day! 

- He put on a t-shirt last week and asked where it came from.  I told him that Oma had given it to him.  He asked if Oma got it for him in Heaven? 

- We read "The Kissing Hand" often.  Cole believes in the kissing hand.  We exchange smooches on the hand at bedtime and drop off for school.  He holds his palms closed to protect Mommy & Daddy's kisses as long as he remembers (usually a lot longer than Mommy remembers to protect her kissing hand!).

- He has started copying me in saying "How did you get to be so cute?!"  He asks me this....I melt and tell him just because I am his Mommy.

- He requests to listen to his music on my ipod.  He has a playlist consisting of some SpongeBob, Yo Gabba Gabba, Trout Fishing in America, and Bob Marley.   He loves to sing along with TFIA - the Window. 

- Tonight when we said our prayers he reminded me to pray for Japan.  He told me that the earth wiggled there and people's houses broke.  I had talked to him about this a few days ago but I was brought to tears by how much his little heart and mind soaked this up.

- Parent-Teacher Conferences this afternoon:  Cole is young for the class he is in now and we will send him to preschool for three years to give him a good foundation for his education.  My heart swelled when his teacher talked about his good hugs and sweet nature.

I am so proud of this boy and I cannot wait to see him become a big brother.  I can't imagine growing more love since at least weekly I can feel my chest puff up and eyes tear up with pride and love.  My chest might explode with two kids to adore!

Happy Birthday, My Love.

Last week was Derek's birthday.

He doesn't make a fuss of birthdays.

I do.

my version of D's favorite Maple Blondie Sundae

We celebrated him through the week because on his birthday he had knee surgery.

He is recovering well. 

We spent the weekend at home relaxing and "RICE-ing." 

D has been doing great in his recovery - he is walking with no crutches today and is basically released from PT already.  It's a good thing, I am going to need his help 'cause it's looking like we are going to be ice/snowed in for a day or so!

Happy Birthday, Derek.  I wish that we could have celebrated with more style - - I guess life happens though.  I hope you know that I want to celebrate you - on your birthday and every day.  I am so grateful for you and I truly love you more each year.  I am so happy to spend my life with you, sharing our life and love each other and for our growing family.  I know that you are my partner for life.  Here's to many more birthdays together to celebrate you!  And - here's to many more hours of Mario Kart with your boy!

Missed Moments: Cole's THIRD birthday

 Cole's third birthday also marked his last day at Miss Dawn's house.

As a big-boy, potty-trained, three-year-old, he was ready to begin KinderHaus daycare & preschool.

Miss Dawn celebrated Cole with a birthday cake and balloons and some cool gifts from the Busch Stadium gift shop where she took the boys on a field trip earlier in the week!

What a fun last-day, birthday, celebration day!

PARTY TIME

 As mentioned, we celebrated Cole's day on Friday after work in Yo-Gabba-Gabba style!

Cole was so lucky that his family loves him so much and traveled that afternoon/evening to celebrate with him.

 We kept it simple with salad, Pizza Hut pizzas, wings, and cake & ice cream!

Gigi & Alberta; Grandma, Grandpa, Adam & Rachel, & Aaron; Na & G all made the evening so much fun!

 Homeboy is spoiled.

Homeboy is lucky to have such an amazing family.  

We all are.

 Saturday morning we headed to Carlinville to spend time with Oma & Opa...and of course, celebrate Cole some more!

Of course, the material things and party are insignificant in the grand scheme.

(They sure make the celebrating fun though!)

I hope Cole always knows how much he is loved.

He has lots of family and they all think the world of him.

Not such a bad way to be spoiled....

Happy Birthday, Cole.

It's been amazing to watch you grow and become yourself.

You are spunky and loving.

I am so proud of you and so proud to be your mom.

I can't wait to celebrate you year after year.

Here comes a catch up.....

...in the meantime.  I want to always remember Cole this morning.  The child has a habit of waking up at 5:30 am every - single - day.  Today it was 5 am....not cool since Mommy had taken the day off to accompany Cole and his friends on a field trip and we did not need to leave home until 8am.  So, to keep him in bed I lay in his bed with him.  He's snuggly in the morning so I threw my arm over him and he drifted off...or so I thought.  As soon as I took my arm off of him to sneak into a more comfortable position his head popped up and said, "don't let go, Mommy."  Short story - I sacrificed comfort to hold on to my boy.  I love him to pieces and I never wanna let go. 

Sunset phone call to Daddy

An evening last week when Daddy was away helping Oma & Opa, Cole and I sat on the new deck and enjoyed the sunset.  We missed Daddy so we had to call him.  Cole told him that we were "watching the sun go down on the new deck" and of course that we missed him and loved him very much. 
Life may be challenging and throwing us some curve balls - but we are trying to find joy in each day.


Cole, you make that so much easier.  I love you, Buddy.

Self Awareness

Closing in on thirty, I have spent a lot of time thinking about "who I am" and learning about that.  As a momma, I have found a new level of confidence and self awareness. 

I am Cole's mom.

I am Derek's wife.

I am a friend who wishes she had more time to give to gal-pals.  I have found my friendship groove for now though. AND, I am eternally grateful for times that I get to unwind, debrief, and commune with girlfriends.

I am a daughter and sister and I wish my family was closer in distance.  I am brought to tears with my gratitude for this family.  There are no words... 

I am a hard worker and I have a job that fills me up - - and wears me down many days. 

I am a home-body.  I love to be home and nesting, relaxing, spending quality time with my boys.

I get too anxious about stuff.  I need to unwind, be mindful, live in the present, etc.  I am a work in progress.

I know that 'who I am' can change.

Cole is becoming aware of himself too.  

He can make silly faces.

He can argue and assert his wants and needs. 

like requesting PBJ for every meal.  doesn't always work out - but he's learning to ask for what he wants.

He is learning how to potty.

 He is learning how to use manners to get things he wants 

PBJ is more likely when request is "May I have a PBJ please, Mommy?"

He is learning to be flexible.

and try new things for dinner - - with lots of encouragment from Mommy & Daddy

He is learning about his family.

 talking about his grandparents when they are not around.

He is learning that his family loves him like CrAzY

and he is learning to show his love through hugs, kisses, strokes, and words of love and comfort

if Mommy is showing signs of stress, he rubs my back and tells me "it be okay"

He's also learning things about himself like....

spitting is funny, 

silly faces make people laugh,

being silly is fun.

I've got his back.

I am his mom.

I love him.

So handsome

He and his daddy both look extraordinarily cute in this hat.

I am smitten with both of them.

Happy 33rd, Love.

Happy Birthday, Derek. It was a simple day, just work and life...and celebrating you. We were a one car family today, so I drove you to work and gave you and IOU book on the way with some candy. When I picked you up I had Captain and cookies waiting for you. The evening was low key as it was snowing.
We love you enormously, Derek. I hope we can help make your 33rd year the best.
Love,
Jenny & Cole

Me Happy!

Cole, there are lots of moments in our life.  There are those wonderful moments featured here where you are being exceptionally cute and I have the camera in hand.  There are stressful moments.  There are moments when we laugh.  There are moments when we get frustrated, tired, hungry, crabby, bossy, etc.  There are moments I judge myself because we don't eat well and we watch too much television.  And there are moments when you make me melt.  Lately those moments come often.  You give unprompted kisses on the lips, cheeks, legs, etc.  You are discovering language...and you are so sensitive and loving.  You always almost always say please, thank you, and you're welcome when it's kind to do so. One of my favorite things is that you say "Me Happy!"  I tell you that you make me happy...such an understatement.  I can't put into words how much happiness you bring.  I get tearful sometimes when you tell me that you love me.  You may never know how much I love you back....Me happy too, buddy.

I love you lots,

Mommy

Flashback: Carrying Cole

Cole,

I would love to tell you that pregnancy with you was pure joy. As I went through it though, it was not. There were the moments that I realized and was awed by the magic of it all....but for the most part I was uncomfortable, swollen, and sick.

If only I knew then how much I was going to love you....I would have been a much happier mama in all of that!

Truly though, I had no clue what I was in for. I was anxious about parenting, nervous about doing things correctly, concerned about money, etc. I wish I knew then what I know now...that things fall together. that is not to say that I don't worry about those things still! AND, more importantly - that you would make all worries float away.

So, swollen ankles, weight gain, months of heart burn, random and unexpected vomiting....I would do it every day of my life for you, little guy.

You are amazing!

Love,

your Mama