40 weeks

Dear Baby,
Tomorrow marks 40 weeks of pregnancy.  What a ride!  The past few weeks I have been nothing short of a basketcase. I have carried so much anxiety around....

How would I be mommy to 2 kids?!

Where will the money come from for child care?!

How the #*^% am I going to have a baby without medications?!

When will you come and will you interrupt your brother's performance in the 'Three Piggy Opera'?!

It's amazing what self talk can do.  I was overwhelmed with peace today, suddenly having more confidence in myself, you, our family, and the unknown.

Here's what I've come to.

Mother of two. 
I just know that this will work.  I know that there will be moments I will feel overwhelmed and under prepared.  I have a great partner and you have a great dad.  He can't wait for Cole to "need" him more.  And he can't wait to meet you. I know that "love will multiply, not divide" - this seems impossible to imagine, but I know it's true.

Money.
It all works out.  We've crunched numbers and we can make it work.  It will take some sacrifice, probably all of which will make us better (no netflix, less or no cable, downgraded internet, etc).

Childbirth.
It's natural.  Baby, you and me - we were both made for this.  I am at peace knowing that we both naturally, innately know how to do this.  I can't wait to meet you, hold you, name you.  My mantra for any meditations I have been practicing has been "my body was made for this."  I know that we will work together for a wonderful experience.

the 'Three Piggy Opera'
I hope that I can be there.  But, as your dad reminded me - you are more important to Cole for the duration of his life that me being at his play.  (secretly I think we're in the clear - only 24 hours until the play!  that helps me feel pretty good about this one.)

So, I am telling myself to calm down. 
Enjoy this time. 
Soak up your big brother. 
Get a kick out of your kicks - I think they are so cute. 
Imagine you. 
Dream of our lives together; your daddy, me, your big brother, and you. 

I feel so close to you already but I know that you are about to take me by surprise with love and emotion.  So, come when you're ready, baby.  You have missed several days when other people wanted you to be born.  I hope that this means that you are confident in yourself - and ready to be your own person.  Be who you are.  I can't wait to find out all about you!  See you soon.

Love,
Mama

Bathtime Sillies

Spring!

Within the last 24 hours our temperature has dropped 30 degrees.  Prior to the bottom falling out of spring, we got out and enjoyed it!  Derek did his thang in the yard, patching spots on the lawn ruined by dog-potty-breaks through the winter, and cutting in some beds with mulch through the yard.  His work looks amazing!  I can't wait until the weather is reliable enough for us to put some plants in the new beds!

Cole and I did our thang riding Hot Wheels, walking, and running around the yard/neighborhood.  Okay, so he did all of the riding, walking, and running.  I waddled.

Okay, come back now Spring.  We miss you already!

Reason #4972 I Love D.

He's nesting.

As I sit here and blog with my feet propped, he is sanitizing shampooing the carpet through the entire house.

He's the best!

Near the end....

Dear Baby,

Your room is ready.

I have done all four (totally uncomfortable) ice exercises to prepare myself for the pain of labor.

Our bags are packed.

Plans are made for Cole and dogs to be cared for.

You hurt in my body - you are outgrowing me.
However, I am trying to remember that these may be the last days in my life when I get to carry a baby inside of me.  I love feeling you move through the day and wearing my belly with pride.

We passed 37 weeks gestation - all of the books say that you are fully developed.

I got my toes did.

Daddy has the yard and house looking great.

Your carseat is wating.

Your big brother is waiting.

We are all waiting.  

See you soon.

Love,

Mama

You, Me, & Big Brother at 38 weeks, 4 days.

Update:
The carpets have been shampoo-ed - - - again.
And the dogs got baths.
This house is SO ready for you!

Update on the Update:
I have "re-did" my toes twice.
The house is clean.  I am having a hard time keeping it this way!
Your brother and I are adjusting to our new schedule and soaking up our last days alone.  Having fun AND ready for your company!
My legs are shaved.
I've walked, bounced on the exercise ball, eaten spicy foods, AND determined that you are stubborn!  ;-)