Tummy Time!

Back at it...

One week back into work.
Day One was tearful!  Hormones paired with the sadness of my fantastic leave ending left me a blubbering mess all day!  I thought I was ready - - until I left.  Then I thought I had myself pulled together - - until I dropped Derek off and had a moment to myself.  Then I told myself I was going to be okay - - until the first person I saw welcomed me back.  Then I cried for an hour.  Then I stopped crying and made it through a client visit.  Then I told myself I was fine because I was on my way home! - - until I picked Derek up and told him that I didn't want to do it again the next day.  Then I got home and figured I was good to go - - until I snuggled my baby and played with my boy and realized that being a mom makes me happier than anything in the whole wide world and I wish I could focus all of my energy on mom-nes.
Day Two brought fewer tears.  I am SO grateful that Na is watching the kiddos while I adjust to being away from them.  I have 100% trust in her and know that the kids are getting such good love and attention!  And- I am so grateful that she is helping me to figure out a schedule/getting into a groove with Maxine and the bottle.  There are no words to express the gratitude...I just can't find them!
The rest of the week really agreed with me.  I have said it before and it might sound like just positive blabber - but I really love my job - my coworkers - my freedom - and my independence in my work.  I like the ride to and from work - time for D and I to talk and be grown-ups together.  I like being in St. Louis, driving around, listening to the radio, being me...
I have felt strangely okay for a few days.  Strangely because I thought I would be fighting depression right now.  Almost "out of body"...  I feel really happy and present.  The downside is that I having feelings of "what am I supposed to be doing?" and "what do I do next?"  Not sure if this is hormonal or sleep-deprived-over-caffeinated but I hope the feeling of presence and enjoying every moment can last.  Because I AM so lucky: relationships - kids - work - home - health....
For now, back to this good stuff...

...and hoping this feeling lasts!

A New List

My leave list helped me so much to set (and reach) some goals.  I think it really helped me feel like I was making the most of my time.  I think that it would serve me well to set some goals regularly.  So here's my summer list...

• read a book. (yes, i have to set a goal to read just.one.book.)
• try one new recipe each week.
• more trips to the park...more board games...more books...more etc.  At least one "Cole's choice" night a week.
• one night in a tent with Cole in the yard.
• photograph my kids....and try my hand (and eye) at photographing other families.  (I am nervous even writing that...)
• get a family photo of the four of us.
• Chuck E. Cheese...with Daddy!
• exercise at least 3X/week
• make bonus at work -$$$- maternity leave recovery!
• sewing project: dog bed
• hang things on the walls of this house
• visit the library, get library card
• continue WW - 10% loss

Science Center

We visited the Science Center.

I was underwhelmed by it...maybe when Cole is a little older and Daddy can come along it will be more fun.

In the meantime, was NOT underwhelmed by the cuteness of my kids.

Cole dressed himself for the day.

And Maxine was her normal adorable self.

Jackpot!

We got to go to Chuck E. Cheese again - Jackpot!

We got to hang out with super fun friends; Laura, Stella, & Maria!  Jackpot!

The rides were awesome!  Jackpot!

We had friends by our side for the suspenseful parts!  Jackpot!

Big sister helping little sister - the sweetest thing ever!  Jackpot!

Killer dance moves!  Jackpot!

Super cute and sweet baby going with the flow!  Jackpot!

Tickets galore (from a machine that I still think malfunctioned to give all of these babies)!  Jackpot!

Seriously! Jackpot!

Awesome day - Jackpot!

Thanks to our WONDERFUL friends who made the day super fun!